Are you there Gin? It's me Lauren...

How have I fallen in love with this elixir of juniper? When all my friends are ordering cider, or vodka cranberry, or cosmos, all I ever think about ordering is Gin with a splash of tonic and a twist of lime. I am sure that my obsession with the good ole' Gin started in Spain, because nothing can quench your thirst in the arid Spanish heat like an ice cold gin and tonic.

I am thinking of installing this in my apartment in the city...


Is this completely inappropriate?

Diagnosis

Have you ever looked at one of your friends and thought about the things they do in social situations and thought, "God, there has got to be something wrong with her." Well, my roommate and I have been compiling a list of 'social syndromes' over the last year. It's funny because it started with us giving our own ridiculous social actions names, and then we began watching and analyzing our friends and the people in our lives. I don't want to offend anyone with these so called diagnoses, because they are meant to be funny, but there is truth in each and everyone of them.

And I have minor cases of more than one of these, so don't be to worried if you recognize the symptoms in yourself, it does not mean that you are not perfect, because you better believe that I am... lol

The Syndromes.....

TTWS

Test the Water Syndrome: This is a terminal syndrome that someone is born with, that causes them to habitually do things that are bad for them. They know that the decisions they make will result in stress for themselves and in the people around them, but they simply cannot say no to the temptation.

CSGS

Catholic School Girl Syndrome: Commonly confused with the simple slut, a girl suffering from CSGS often wears very little clothing and shakes her ass around the opposite sex. This results from being locked away in catholic classrooms with conservative, overprotected parents for too many years. She does not understand how the male mind works, and thinks that by acting like a whore, she will find her prince charming, and she also lives by the rule that any attention is good attention. In denial about their existing virginity, and can't wait to "get it over with." The only cure for CSGS is years of therapy and plenty of time in Sin City.

IAS

Invisible Audience Syndrome: When someone's vanity goes a little too far, it may be IAS, this results from either getting too much attention as a child, and therefore believing that people are always watching, or not enough attention, resulting in a fictitious audience. Common symptoms include looking around when telling a joke or having a conversation in a public place to see if anyone is watching. It is also normal for someone suffering from IAS to do their makeup or dress up for a quiet evening at the house, just in case someone shows up at the front door.

FGS

Fat Girl Syndrome:

Simplex 1: When a girl (or boy) has recently (or not so recently) lost a significant amount of weight but continue to see themselves as heavy, fish for compliments or whine about food options. This is annoying because the recently skinny's friends don't want to hear the complaints.

Simplex 2: When a girl is trying to lose weight, and sneaks food or binges on so-called "HEALTHY" food. Sneaking Fiber-One Cinnamon Toaster Pastry's and pretending that it is a health option is a red flag for Simplex 2 FGS.

SBS

Skinny Bitch Syndrome: Oddly enough, SBS can be confused with the aforementioned FGS(see previous syndrome explanation). The main differences between FGS and SBS are as fallows: A patient of SBS will more often than not worry about every little calorie that is put into her body. Another difference is, though the SB may not agree, there was never an actual weight problem to deal with.

GBDS

Gay Boy Drama Syndrome: This syndrome is developed by gay males, who feel that they are not feminine enough, so they fabricate drama to talk about with their "best girlfriends". They will constantly return the topic of the conversation back to themselves and everything that happens to them is more significant, because of the "Gay Factor". In some extreme cases, those suffering of GBDS may go as far as to complain that they will never be able to have their own children

DGS

Dorky Girl Syndrome: A girl who was, for the majority of her life, stereotypically dorky, but at one point or another, got hot. She begins to believe that her hotness is an excuse for the fact that she doesn't shower often, that wears baggy clothes to school and gets out of control because she can't handle her alcohol. Often Terminal.

TMSS

Take Me Serious Syndrome: When someone's opinions was brushed off as a child, or if they were not seen as a serious person for any significant period of time during their lives, they may develop TMSS. Symptoms of TMSS are an over serious demeanor, lack of a sense of humor, pursed lips and a permanently arched eyebrow. The only prove therapy for TMSS is to give the person suffering 'serious' responsibility.

This is just a few of the very many social syndromes that my roommate and I have diagnosed people with, and there will be more to come...

First Post : About the Brunette...

So I have been thinking about starting this blog for a LONG time. I feel like I have a pretty good grasp living an amazing life. I am a fun, fabulous, loud, obnoxious, Brunette woman, loving life and living large. I have seen some pretty low lows... but obviously I have made it through and the highs have made every rough patch worth while. So now I am here, typing away on my laptop, needing to share with the rest of the world of beautiful brunette ladies, how I manage to laugh everyday and live a fabulous life. But don't get me wrong, no matter the color of your luscious locks, you are welcome here... I don't discriminate.

Now this may sound like it is an up-lifting, positive, self-help blog, and it may be, but two things that I pride myself on, among my many talents, is my sarcasm and my ability to bullshit anything. I could convince the Surgeon General that swine flu was fake pandemic, and any college professor that I deserve an A on a paper. But don't get me wrong, I am a hard working, motivated girl, I just know how to use my head and bend the rules to make them fit in with my lifestyle. So I guess this blog is just a way for me to vent my frustrations with the world and to let everyone know how I deal with it.... Because if anyone knows me, they know that I KNOW EVERYTHING... and I mean this in the most humble way.

So details about me, I am almost twenty and completely shocked that I am almost two decades old. I am studying Classics at San Francisco State University, totally nerdy, I know. I have lived in Northern California my whole life, but I have done my fair share of traveling as well. I live in an apartment in San Francisco (with two other brunette's) pretty close to the beach and just a short muni ride away from all the amazing things that San Francisco has to offer. I have the most amazing parents in the world, and they raised my little brother and I right...

"Girl, If anyone ever tells you that you haven't lived, you can spit in their face." -- My roommate about me..

For being only twenty years old, I have experienced a lot. I have had my heart broken more than once, spent a month in Spain working on an Archaeological dig, dated the same guy for almost 4 years, swam competitively for 13 years, practiced Buddhism, and enoucuntered countless other random, yet completely important and relevant experiences the last two decades.

I always have something to say, and advice to give, whether or not someone wants to hear it, so look forward to guidelines... they will be coming soon!!!